Well foremost what can I say about the year 2011...(one word)...Bad!!!!!!! I'm being very nice because I'm a Christian!! Most of the year for me, was trying to make the hardest decision in my life....leaving my best friend, soul mate and my first true love!! Also my two precious kid's going through a divorce!! I decided on Aug. 27 that it was over....he told me in so many words that he didn't love me and he wanted out also!! We said goodbye to our Marriage on November 8 and now I'm a single divorced mom!!
New path right??
I was living in a house with three bedrooms, a husband, and a made up life that was weaking my faith each day!!..... I now find myself living with my parents because I don't get any help from him!! I find myself wondering why I had waited for so long to get out when he did not love me anymore!! I now find myself getting stronger each new day in my faith!! Wondering what god has in store for me next!!
I was not going to be one of those percentages...where they say that marriages are going to fail (because of)!! I thought i had found someone who loved me and adored me! He had flaw's but I over looked them all the time!! Made excuses for him...and Lied over and over about anything and everything!! But still I wanted this marriage to work!! But a Marriage does not work if only one person is working at it...and that's what I was doing!! When we would go out in public we would smile and act like a family!! Smiles and Laughs...and all the while I knew deep down in my heart that he had a alternate life he was living and I was not apart of!! So it makes me very sick and ill...that now my life is one of the percentages that everyone talks about!!
But God has been so good to me...he never left me in any way!! He was and is that shoulder I cried on in the middle of the night...when there was nobody else around!! He was and is that friend I could talk to and knew exactly what was going on with my life!! So for the next year...I am going to grow in my faith and understanding!! I am going to strive to be the best Christian, Mother, Daughter, Sister I can be!! I am on God's new Path and I am having the faith and Prayer to stay on this Path!!
"Never will I Leave you; never will I forsake you."..."The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid."
God's New Path.....and God is in Control!!!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Friday, March 19, 2010
I wish Life would just freeze...
Well, it's been a very long time since I blogged!! But there was little bird told me to start up again!! I'm wishing right now that my life would just slow down a bit!! I know it's not going to happen. So I'm going to try to catch you all up in one post...so HANG ON!!
1.)First of all as you can tell we did have our little princess!! Her name is Bethany, she was born on September 14, 2009 at 8.27am weighing 8.3lb and 22" long!! Everything went just as planned no complication's!! We are very proud of her!! She was and still is a Surprise Miracle!! Carson's loves her and is very protective of her!! I couldn't ask for more!! We are complete!! One Boy and One Girl!! She has grown so much and now she is on Baby Food!! She weighs 13.6lb and is 25" long at six weeks!! She laughs and coos at everybody!! Her best feature is her hair!! There is so much of it, I don't really know if we can wait till one year!! But I am loving picking out dresses, hair bows, and most of what she wears or owns is pink!! So that has become one of my favorite color's!! She has learned to turn over and loves to stand up while holding her!! We play a game called 1,2,3!! She starts by laying down, then you count 1,2,3 by the time three rolls around she has pulled herself up and standing!! It's fun, and she already knows how to count 1,2,3!! I know, I'm sorry you have missed so much of her, but that's life!! Our very fast life!!
2.)Being a Big Brother...Carson started 4yr old preschool!! He goes to School of the 21st Century at Oak wood. He is now five year's old!! With the help of President Obama and his stimulus money, Carson got a Preschool Scholarship for preschool. His teacher is Mrs. Karla!! During the first couple of week's of school, they had noticed he was slow in many area's of his learning abilities!! So they set up a meeting with us and we decided to put in him some special development classes. As of right now his test scores reflect 80% of improvement!!
Since he is in school he has really blossomed into a very smart little boy!! He knows all of his color's, shapes, and most of his letter's!! He also can write his name, I know it's just preschool but I am very proud of him. It wasn't to long ago that we where feeding him baby food!! He is also getting very tall...but still a very skinny boy!! As the big change happened to us as a family, he has changed also!! The expatiation of him is higher...We expect that he mind and listen more, to help out with us since we have a baby!! I hate it for him because he was my baby for many year's, it's just hard for me to treat him as a Big Boy not a Baby!! But he was my first...and the bound will never go away!! Because he has been through so much, I want to place a big bubble around him and protect him!! So in order to do that in real life, I place him in God's hand's (my bubble). So life for him has been really exciting and thrilling!!
3.)Being a new Daddy, David is just as cute with her as ever!! When he talks or smiles at her. Her whole face just light's up!! She is definitely going to be Daddy's Little Girl!! He helps with me some, he just stays so busy working!! He is going through some emotional issues also!! Back in December he lost his mother!! The call came Dec.4 from his Dad, that his mom was hurting and not feeling well!! He wanted David to come and help him get her to the hospital, so David told him that he would be there soon. But the call came back that his mom was sitting on the toilet and he was holding her up and she wasn't breathing right!! So David took off and got there within ten min. by the time he got there she had quit breathing!! David tried to do CPR on her but it was to late!! The only thing we know, is we think her Blood Pressure bottom out!! Anyway we had to go through the Funeral Stuff and we put her in the grave Dec. 7!! It hasn't been easy on him nor us!! His Dad cannot read and so we where having to take care of him and pay the bills. But to our surprise he took a few women out to eat. (On a Date) And by January 22, he was remarried!! I know that seems very fast but he knew this woman all his life, she lost her husband back in May. So they made up there minds neither one of them wanted to be alone in this world!! So they got married. I love her, she loves my kid's!! It's been hard on David, but he says if his Dad is happy so is he!! What is so bad about all this, David keeps his emotion's to his self!! I want him to talk to me and he won't. But we are working on it. We just spent the weekend in Little Rock for our 11th Anniversary and we both enjoyed it and needed it!!
4.)Ok as for myself..I am the glue that keeps on sticking!! I am just trying to keep us all together. I make sure that everything is been taking care of at home, that everyone is feed and clothed. I love my kid's and my husband!! I still have no clue what I am doing. So I learn everyday on how to do this parent thing!! I may do it wrong or wright but the only thing is that I please God on how I did it!! But having the Baby put a issue on my Blood Pressure, i was put on med's. I'm not on them anymore. But there are time's I feel the BP go sky high but as of right now everything seems to be good. I just have to keep a close eye on it!! So that's about all of me!! It's just been a major roller coaster ride that will not stop!! I am determined to make 2010 a much better year for my family!! There where just so many changes, it's a wonder that we all survived!!
So I hope you enjoyed reading all the major issues that we went through. I will try to post more on the Blog in a couple of weeks!! So until then...you will just have to wait!!
1.)First of all as you can tell we did have our little princess!! Her name is Bethany, she was born on September 14, 2009 at 8.27am weighing 8.3lb and 22" long!! Everything went just as planned no complication's!! We are very proud of her!! She was and still is a Surprise Miracle!! Carson's loves her and is very protective of her!! I couldn't ask for more!! We are complete!! One Boy and One Girl!! She has grown so much and now she is on Baby Food!! She weighs 13.6lb and is 25" long at six weeks!! She laughs and coos at everybody!! Her best feature is her hair!! There is so much of it, I don't really know if we can wait till one year!! But I am loving picking out dresses, hair bows, and most of what she wears or owns is pink!! So that has become one of my favorite color's!! She has learned to turn over and loves to stand up while holding her!! We play a game called 1,2,3!! She starts by laying down, then you count 1,2,3 by the time three rolls around she has pulled herself up and standing!! It's fun, and she already knows how to count 1,2,3!! I know, I'm sorry you have missed so much of her, but that's life!! Our very fast life!!
2.)Being a Big Brother...Carson started 4yr old preschool!! He goes to School of the 21st Century at Oak wood. He is now five year's old!! With the help of President Obama and his stimulus money, Carson got a Preschool Scholarship for preschool. His teacher is Mrs. Karla!! During the first couple of week's of school, they had noticed he was slow in many area's of his learning abilities!! So they set up a meeting with us and we decided to put in him some special development classes. As of right now his test scores reflect 80% of improvement!!
Since he is in school he has really blossomed into a very smart little boy!! He knows all of his color's, shapes, and most of his letter's!! He also can write his name, I know it's just preschool but I am very proud of him. It wasn't to long ago that we where feeding him baby food!! He is also getting very tall...but still a very skinny boy!! As the big change happened to us as a family, he has changed also!! The expatiation of him is higher...We expect that he mind and listen more, to help out with us since we have a baby!! I hate it for him because he was my baby for many year's, it's just hard for me to treat him as a Big Boy not a Baby!! But he was my first...and the bound will never go away!! Because he has been through so much, I want to place a big bubble around him and protect him!! So in order to do that in real life, I place him in God's hand's (my bubble). So life for him has been really exciting and thrilling!!
3.)Being a new Daddy, David is just as cute with her as ever!! When he talks or smiles at her. Her whole face just light's up!! She is definitely going to be Daddy's Little Girl!! He helps with me some, he just stays so busy working!! He is going through some emotional issues also!! Back in December he lost his mother!! The call came Dec.4 from his Dad, that his mom was hurting and not feeling well!! He wanted David to come and help him get her to the hospital, so David told him that he would be there soon. But the call came back that his mom was sitting on the toilet and he was holding her up and she wasn't breathing right!! So David took off and got there within ten min. by the time he got there she had quit breathing!! David tried to do CPR on her but it was to late!! The only thing we know, is we think her Blood Pressure bottom out!! Anyway we had to go through the Funeral Stuff and we put her in the grave Dec. 7!! It hasn't been easy on him nor us!! His Dad cannot read and so we where having to take care of him and pay the bills. But to our surprise he took a few women out to eat. (On a Date) And by January 22, he was remarried!! I know that seems very fast but he knew this woman all his life, she lost her husband back in May. So they made up there minds neither one of them wanted to be alone in this world!! So they got married. I love her, she loves my kid's!! It's been hard on David, but he says if his Dad is happy so is he!! What is so bad about all this, David keeps his emotion's to his self!! I want him to talk to me and he won't. But we are working on it. We just spent the weekend in Little Rock for our 11th Anniversary and we both enjoyed it and needed it!!
4.)Ok as for myself..I am the glue that keeps on sticking!! I am just trying to keep us all together. I make sure that everything is been taking care of at home, that everyone is feed and clothed. I love my kid's and my husband!! I still have no clue what I am doing. So I learn everyday on how to do this parent thing!! I may do it wrong or wright but the only thing is that I please God on how I did it!! But having the Baby put a issue on my Blood Pressure, i was put on med's. I'm not on them anymore. But there are time's I feel the BP go sky high but as of right now everything seems to be good. I just have to keep a close eye on it!! So that's about all of me!! It's just been a major roller coaster ride that will not stop!! I am determined to make 2010 a much better year for my family!! There where just so many changes, it's a wonder that we all survived!!
So I hope you enjoyed reading all the major issues that we went through. I will try to post more on the Blog in a couple of weeks!! So until then...you will just have to wait!!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Hello Again...
Well Pregnant lady is back!! I know it's been a really long time since I posted!! It just seems I am on a very fast train, trying to slow down!! But know one is listening to me!! LOL!! Last time I blogged I was 23 weeks pregnant, now I am 34 weeks!! Doing good!! She is growing and moving alot!! I had a baby shower a couple of weeks ago!! Got alot of pink things and girl items!! So I am getting very excited!! I will post pictures in a couple of day's!! Got the nursery done, and we have been moving into it!!
Carson has been really good, but there is going to be a little Jealousy going on with him!! He thinks all her things are his!! Which they where at one time, but they are Bethany's right now!! At this point we will be going in the hospital on September 14, at 7:30 for a c-section!! So it's not to much longer!! If I don't get to post anymore!! Please remember us in your prayers!! This is very exciting chapter in our lives!!
Carson has been really good, but there is going to be a little Jealousy going on with him!! He thinks all her things are his!! Which they where at one time, but they are Bethany's right now!! At this point we will be going in the hospital on September 14, at 7:30 for a c-section!! So it's not to much longer!! If I don't get to post anymore!! Please remember us in your prayers!! This is very exciting chapter in our lives!!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
21, 22, 23 weeks countdown...
I know it's been a few weeks since I blogged last!! Sorry, life is crazy.... Anyway I am doing fine, we went to the Dr. last Wed. to check the Baby in detail!! As I have blogged in the past, Carson had a Kidney problem when he was born. So they told me it was a Genic thing, so they wanted to make sure she was doing good!! So far everything looks good!! No sign of internal problems so far!! Thank God for that!! She weighs 13oz and is still a very active little girl!! We have come up with a name for her and we decided Bethany Leeann Roush!! Bethany is from the Bible, and Leeann is from both my Grandmother's!! Betty Lee and Mary Ann!! I am named after my mom, Amy Diann. So instead of another Diann I came up with naming her after the special women in my life!! I think it is very different and pretty!! Mostly David loves it!!
We finally got her bedding it is gingham with flowers, hearts, and a rainbow of colors!!
I Love it!! It's like a little Garden for a Baby Girl!!
I found it over at Baby Depot in Memphis!! On Sale!!! The only thing I don't have is the Diaper Holder, Pillow's, and the Border!! But I can mix and match!! Ok, we found so much stuff at Baby Depot that didn't cost very much!! I bought a bassinet sheet, towels, and the car seat neck holder very cheap. I also bought her two new bottles!! I am using the Playtex Drop in Bottles, easy to use and Carson did wonderful with them!! I just have to get the nipples and the drop ins!! (This girl is not Breastfeeding) because it's just not for me!!! Sorry!!
So the only problem now, is I can't get into her bedroom!! We are having a yard sale June 6, so guess where our Junk is!! You got it her room!! Until we have the yard sale, her things are in my bedroom!! Including her Baby Bed!! We got Carson a Big Boy Bed!! For Four years he has slept in his Baby Bed/Toddler Bed!! We found a Twin Size Bed for him and he loves it, just having trouble staying in it!! He keep's falling off the Bed!! He likes his new Thomas the Train Sheets. So instead of taking the Baby Bed down, we moved into our room!! Carson till likes climbing inside the Crib, so we will see if he will try that when Bethany sleeps in it LOL!!
We got her going home outfit this past weekend at Dillard's!! I kinda spent more money on her going home outfit than her other clothes!! I have been trying to catch sales!! Let me tell you JC Penny is the store!! Buy one outfit for regular price and get another for 99 cents!! It's a bargain!! So far it's been sleepers and little outfits!! Not alot of dresses because everything we have looked at is for the summer not fall! !But it's been fun, buying and finding pink items!!
We are all doing good, just hard to believe that I am as far along as I am!! I only have 119 days to go and we will have a little Girl!! David is getting more excited!! He loves all the pink in the house, he tells me it's very different!! We are truly being blessed right now, God is still in control!! And we are just happy and content!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
20 weeks and Counting...
Well it's twenty weeks!! And I can't believe that it is half way over!! I am doing good!! This week has really went good!! God keeps blessing us daily!! We have saved enough money to make our first big (Baby Payment). We have no maternity benefits so everything will come out of our own pocket's!! We have done good!! We have only bought what we need, nothing extra!! So it gives enough money to make the payments to the Dr. We have decided to act like it's a weekly payment and it doesn't seem that bad. Instead of coming up with five payments of $745.00, break it up by the week!! Which is like $186 a week and it doesn't seem all that bad!! There seems to be a calm feeling at our house!! I hope it's not the calm before the storm!! LOL!!
We took Saturday and cleaned the house from top to bottom, moved things around. All we like is moving the left over junk out of the babies room!! It was kinda of sad for David!! You see the babies room, was David's hobby room, inside held about 500 toy tractors!! So he packed them up in totes to put upstairs in the attic!! He is ok with it just wished we had a bigger house to display his hard work of collecting!! He has been collecting toy tractors for years!! We are planning on having a yard sale in June to get ride of some old things!! So alot of things going on this past week!!
Since this weekend is Mother's Day my gift from my husband is....a day of shopping without Carson!! I know that seems silly, but I am wanted to go get some things for the baby and I would like to focus on what she need's!! So Carson is having a day out with daddy!! So Happy Mother's Day weekend to me!! I hope I will enjoy myself!!
We are getting more and more excited about her coming into our lives!! I know God is with us and will continue to be with us!! God is in Control!!
We took Saturday and cleaned the house from top to bottom, moved things around. All we like is moving the left over junk out of the babies room!! It was kinda of sad for David!! You see the babies room, was David's hobby room, inside held about 500 toy tractors!! So he packed them up in totes to put upstairs in the attic!! He is ok with it just wished we had a bigger house to display his hard work of collecting!! He has been collecting toy tractors for years!! We are planning on having a yard sale in June to get ride of some old things!! So alot of things going on this past week!!
Since this weekend is Mother's Day my gift from my husband is....a day of shopping without Carson!! I know that seems silly, but I am wanted to go get some things for the baby and I would like to focus on what she need's!! So Carson is having a day out with daddy!! So Happy Mother's Day weekend to me!! I hope I will enjoy myself!!
We are getting more and more excited about her coming into our lives!! I know God is with us and will continue to be with us!! God is in Control!!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
19 weeks and counting...
Well i'm still here and pregnant!! She is a very active little girl!! I just can't wait to see and hold her!! I can tell that I'm getting bigger, just scared to get on the scales!! I didn't like doing that before much less now that I'm pregnant!! I have been very good though, trying to eat healthy!! I have taken my vitamins every day and drinking alot of Orange juice!! The one thing that has been a very hard task for me, is laying off the soda's esp. COKE!! I love coke!! Before I found out that I was pregnant, I was drinking prob. three a day!! I am making it though!! I do have a coke every now and then!! I really don't think a few will hurt!! (I hope not)
But the excited thing happen this past weekend!! I bought her first sleeper's!! Pink and Purple!! I thought I would never be able to by little girl thing's!! I just hope the Dr. didn't miss read it!! My mom bought I don't know how many little outfits, with sock's, and bib's!! She just went crazy!! We are slowly buying things up, I'm just not any hurry!! Everything else is going to fast!! I have a couple of styles of bedding pick out, just waiting patiently!! Until my husband give me the ok to buy it!! LOL!! No we are just having to watch what we spend, because it is costing so much to have her!! We are just taking one thing at a time!! The big thing we are having to get is getting a bed for Carson!! So if you see any sales around Paragould on kid's bedding please let me know!! Well this pregnant women is getting tired and is fixing to go to bed!! Thanks for your Prayer's!! It's half way over and I still need them!!
But the excited thing happen this past weekend!! I bought her first sleeper's!! Pink and Purple!! I thought I would never be able to by little girl thing's!! I just hope the Dr. didn't miss read it!! My mom bought I don't know how many little outfits, with sock's, and bib's!! She just went crazy!! We are slowly buying things up, I'm just not any hurry!! Everything else is going to fast!! I have a couple of styles of bedding pick out, just waiting patiently!! Until my husband give me the ok to buy it!! LOL!! No we are just having to watch what we spend, because it is costing so much to have her!! We are just taking one thing at a time!! The big thing we are having to get is getting a bed for Carson!! So if you see any sales around Paragould on kid's bedding please let me know!! Well this pregnant women is getting tired and is fixing to go to bed!! Thanks for your Prayer's!! It's half way over and I still need them!!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
18 weeks Pregnant...
Well it's official, I am wearing Maternity Clothes now!! Mainly the pants!! Yesterday I wore, some jeans and could not button them!! I had to take a rubber band and fix it so I could not expose myself!! So that made me realize, I need to get in Maternity clothes sooner rather than later!! It's OK!! I had keep all the clothes from my first pregnancy!! So I'm not going to be out any money for bigger clothes, which is a blessing!! They are in the washer as we speak!! I showed mom my favorite outfit!! It is Black with Leopard print on it!! It is so comfy and looks cool!! My goal is to find a pretty pink top for my shower!! I had Blue with Carson, so pink for this little girl!! Anyway doing wonderful, it feels like a little butterfly moving around!! She is defiantly a very active little girl!! She doesn't like to stay in one place!! We are slowly getting her room cleared out!! We have sooooo much junk it's not even funny!! We need to get it cleared out to paint!! What is in there right now, is over 400 little toy tracker's, that my husband had collected!! He is willing to pack them up and move them in the attic. That's what we get for having only a three bedroom house!! Not enough room for our stuff!! We are very close in picking out a name for her! (I will let everyone know soon) so for right now she is my little butterfly. And to Carson, she is Baby Sissy!! Continue to keep us in prayer!! We are doing good, just worried about all the money we are having to come up with to pay for our little unexpected blessing!!
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