Surving the Hoilday's...

Ok, It's been awhile, and no I'm not dead. Just been very busy. Yeah we survived the Holiday's. We actually made it. It actually wasn't that bad this year. We were very blessed to be off work both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. This gave a chance to spread our time out with everyone. We got to spend some time with Davids family and my family. I don't know what happened this year, but we where not rushed at all. It felt very good. We got to catch up on family life, and not worry about presents. Or at least the adults didn't worry about presents... The years past we spent the night with my mom and had Christmas Morning with her. Here is Carson Opening his presents Christmas Morning. This was the very first Christmas Morning at my house this year. We did the whole Santa's milk and cookies. And yes we even feed the reindeer. This year Carson realize who Santa was and so I invited my Mom and Dad to come over and watch him opened his gifts from Santa. It was so cute, we continued the Thomas the Train Theme from his Birthday for Christmas.

So he had a good Christmas I believe. We just tried to make sure he had a few things under the tree. We than went to Mom's house to have breakfest and opened Presents for her. It was fun and me and my sister got Scrap booking things. That's about all I ask for this year. Boy it was more than what I expected. I also got a scrapbook Sweatshirt. Here I am posing.

I was very surprised about the sweatshirt. Anyway my husband got me a watch and money. He told me he didn't know what to get me this year. But I was happy he gave me money anyway. So we did our gifts and than we went to spend Christmas with my Grandpa and my step Grandmother. We did a little bit different this year we rented a place. So for the very first year in my 30yrs of my life. We didn't have Christmas at my Grandpa's. It was bittersweet this year. For one reason, we had enough room, and the TV wasn't going on. The other thing, before we left there was a piano in the place. My dad played and the family started singing songs for my grandpa. You see, our family is based on a Christian Singing Family. There is my Dad, and my two uncles who play the piano and are preaches. So the biggest part of past holiday's was singing old hymns that Grandpa and Grandma loved to here. So that was the highlight of the day singing around like we used to do when we where little.

So we had a very blessed Christmas and hope we have a Blessed New year also.

Ready or Not, Christmas is almost Here...

I must say, for Christmas to be in two weeks, I am more ready for Christmas this year than I was last. Mainly because I have planned it out a little differently than last year. Everything in my house is very basic. I did not decorate very much outside or inside. I just feel like it just needs to be simple to be pretty this year. And for the first time in a very long time, the gifts are mostly bought. I just have a few that are on order, and I hope and pray that they will be here in time for Christmas. But the gifts are very simple. I haven't bought for hardly anybody this year. I have a few gifts that I had to buy that where small in cost. I feel like everybody bent to the financial needs of other's. Like instead of drawing names, we are exchanging a ten dollar man or woman's gift a church. And at work, the ladies are bring a ten dollar scrap booking supply. And as for my extended family, we are not doing gifts this year. So I feel like everyone understands the financial strain everyone is under this year. I mainly bought for my son, husband, sister, mother and father and in-laws. So I myself do not feel stress out very much this year. There is much to do and make. Plus I informed Santa, that my son wants a couple of things that have to be made or put together. So Santa is feeling the stress of Christmas. I told him put a smile on his face and enjoy it. So anyway ready or not, Christmas is almost here and I'm ready for it.

I can not wait till this coming weekend. My mom and I are going to make candy and treats. This was passed down from my grandmother. Baking and making Candy was her treat to us. I feel very honored in receiving some of her recipes that she made every year. I'm looking forward in making Rice Krispees treats, sugar cookie's, a recipe called Heavenly Hash, Fudge, and Chocolate covered Pretzel. All of those good and fating candy. It's just a fun time to get together with my mom and sister. And maybe this year Carson will be able to help with making candy. It will be very interesting. But I'm sure it will be eatable.

I love Christmas mainly because it seems to be the only time when most of the world stands still for at least a day. I mean when everything is closed, even Wal-Mart the day of Christmas, is what I mean when things are at a stand still. I know it's silly but when leaving my Grandpa's we just have to drive into the parking lot of Wal-mart. Because there is not a single soul around. I believe most people try to really feel the Peace that God wishes we had all through the year. I try to have this peace in my heart. God want's us all to have peace and share that peace of the season to everyone. This is my Grownup Christmas wish. That we all try to find Peace within ourselves and with others. So are you truly ready for Christmas this year. You've only got two weeks left. Find it, feel it, and share the spirit of Christmas with everyone you come in contact with. Because Christmas is almost here!!!

When True Friends are not...

Remember in my profile I am a observer. I just have a few thoughts that have been thinking on. For a couple of year's now, I have tried to push and form friendship with someone. And to be honest, I just don't think they want to be close friends. And I just don't know how long I need to keep the friendship going. I truly want the friendship to work. Don't get me wrong, I have some wonderful friends. The friends that I have, I've made over many years, and are great wonderful friends. They will drop everything just to help you out. I love them very much. They are my very true best friends, and they know who they are. If I need something or just to talk they are there. They've been my friends for years. But I have also made new friends along my life that are good friends also. But then I have those friends who just could care less about what goes on with you. The question is how far do you push a friendship. How far do you to go to be friends with certain people? When do you say enough is enough? I have this problem right now. Just how do I go about, trying to end a make shift friendship. When you know the friendship is truly not even there. How do you cut people out of your life? When you truly want them to be in you life? These are question's in my mind right now. I just don't know I will figure it out. I just don't like getting hurt all the time. I know I am the kind of person who never quits on somebody. And I hope that people won't quit on me. And I don't want to quit on them but when is enough, enough? When do I stop getting hurt. When I know that it is a forced friendship anyway. It just hurts that no matter how hard you try or how much you do for them they just don't want to be friends.

What a Weekend...

I must say that having a child around a holiday is not easy. We celebrated Thanksgiving, than turned around and had Carson's third Birthday. It was a good year though. For the first time in a long time. I took the time and thought about what I am so Thankful for this year. We are truly blessed. And we Thank God up above for that. So we celebrated Thanksgiving with our family. It went very well. I got a new tradition started for Thanksgiving Day. I got the idea from the ladies at Stamp Camp the other night. Thanks!! The idea was to bring whatever you wanted to work on, and scrapbook with your family on Thanksgiving Day. It was kind of odd. It was different. Because, we really haven't scrap with each other. So I hope a new tradition was formed. I hope everyone enjoyed it. We just shared and laughed with each other. Before we new it, the day was over and everyone headed home. So I was thankful that we have a hobby that we can share during the holiday's.
So the next thing happened over the weekend. Was Carson's third birthday party. I had to work Friday, but I research on the Internet and found a wonderful idea for his party. You see we did his party in Thomas the Train. Thomas the Train is just what he is into this year. Last year it was Elmo, and the year before was just his first birthday. So I decided that this year was going to be good. I took the idea from a lady, that planned a party for her three year old nephew. She had turned her house into a train station. She had e-mail step by step what she had did for the party. First of all she used black duct tape for the train tracks. She placed the tracks all over the floor. And made the character out of cardboard boxes and spray paint.
She also gave this idea, not to give the kids their goodie bags. But have games and let them win prizes (Goodie Bag items) and let them fill their goodie bags. So that's what we did. I started with a letter from Sir. Tophem Hat. And it read that Thomas the train was one his way to Carson's Party and that he was lost and he needed help trying to find Thomas. He also said that if along the way Thomas friends might need help. Help them out if we could. So we started down the hall, and the very first thing. Toby had drop coal out of his train car. Could we help him out by putting the coal back into his car. So the kids put coal (black socks filled with rice) back into the car. They got a prize. Then we moved on down. The Cranky the Crane dropped packages into the water, and could we fish and get the packages out. (Plywood with a Blue sheet leaned up against the hallway, with someone behind it to clip brown sacks filled with goodies to a dowel rod with yarn and a clothes pin) They loved it. So one we go, and Percy had ran into the chocolate factory and got candy all over him. The kid's had to collect all the choc late candy. So we help him out. Last but not least was James. He knew where Thomas was but the steam was thick and he couldn't get his whistle to work. (Steam was white balloon's) and under the balloons was the kid's whistles. So as they where blowing on their whistles, I had an adult blow on one in the other room. There was Thomas the Train. (Thomas Tent that my mom bought Carson) Inside the tent was pinata candy.
You should have seen all those faces. It was alot of work to put together, but in the end it was all worth it. I was so pleased how everything went. Carson had about four little kids at his party. Being a holiday weekend it was hard to get his friends to come to his party. That is just something we are all going to have to deal with as he gets older. But he had about twenty-five adults.
My best friend and her mom made the cake and my dad got a helium tank to blow the balloon's up. Mom and my sister prepared the food. And my older cousin's help with the games. So all in all it was a Wonderful Team Effort. I hope his parties go just as good in the future. I love to create things that will have a lasting memory in people. It doesn't matter if I have a good time it matter's to me if everybody else has a good time. What a wonderful weekend, I'm even tired of blogging about it. I Thank God for another year with my son!!

Making Christmas Cards...

Alright I have a new hobby. I got to make 15 Christmas Cards this week. I really didn't know if I would like making cards. But I just want to say, (Thanks Ginger)!! She invited me to go with her to a Stamp Camp Class. I loved it, I had so much fun!! The class was a little advanced, for me. But I made it, with the help of the ladies around our table. They help me quite abit. But everything was cut and prepared for you. You just placed the card together. The first five where kinda of hard. But the rest where easier to figure our. Anyway, I believe with the pattern that we made. I will make my Christmas Cards this year. For the very first time ever. I will take the time and make each and everyone a homemade card this year. I think...If I have the time!!! I would just like to share with you , that I love the hobby that I have discovered. I can really do it, and I enjoy doing it. Wither it would be scrap booking or making cards. I just enjoy putting together something from scratch. My sister and mom pushed me into scrap booking. I thought I wouldn't be that good. But I'm finding it easier to do. So this is my new hobby. I hope to become better as the experience happens. I just can't believe I'm making my cards this year. Wish me luck!!!

I'm Not a Pageant Mother...

Well, the Jig is up. I'm not a Pageant Mother. Let me explain. Last Tuesday, we where asked if I would be interested in entering Carson in a Beauty Pageant. Mind you he has never entered a pageant. Well, I surrendered, Mom and my friend Ginger talked me into it. The pageant was Church Wear. So I just pulled an outfit from the closet, that we found at Dillard's in the spring on sale. It was tan pants, with a under shirt green,white, and cream. And we had a cover shirt that was dark green swede. It was cute, although I probably could have found a better outfit. So we got up Saturday Morning I let him play up till we had to get his bath. I put play close on him till we got there. We missed rehearsal because I had already schedule pictures for his birthday at Sears. The rehearsal was the Friday night before. We got there we had no clue what was going on or where to go. Luckily Amy the one that was in charge of it, showed us where to go and get ready. Mind you I have never done this before with him. I mean I was in a few pageants when I was little. But I had never put my son in a pageant before. His Daddy always told me that pageants where for girls. So here we are surrounded by all pretty little girls. Carson just looked at them like what I'm I doing here. So we got our number, and paperwork. Went and put his clothes on him. And just telling him if he did good we would go to the mall and play and get a toy. So we waited till our number was called. Mom and my sister went out in the audience to take pictures. The pageant was not very big at all, they where just raising money for Christmas for the needy in the town. So we waited, they called for the tiny little misses, than baby little misses, then it was our turn Baby Little Mr. There was only one other little boy that had entered. So we got on stage and blew kisses, waved at Nana and aunt sissy. Blew kisses at the judges (this is what I did when I was little) and tried to smile. Now Carson is a typical little boy. He will laugh and smile when he wants to. But he will not do it, on cue. He held my hand and would not let go. I figure he would get on stage and just start crying. But, I thought he did very well consider he didn't know what was going on. So we did our wave and all the turns, and things like that. We went back stage and waiting till they called for us again. We got called, went back on stage they called Carson name for the Most Photogenic. He got a plaque and a ribbon sash. Then he got called for 1st runner up. Got a trophy and another ribbon sash. The other little boy got Mr. Baby Autumn Beau. He got a bigger trophy and a ribbon sash, but, he got a toy truck instead of a Crown. That was fine and dandy, because we had already told Carson he would get a toy later. I turned out OK, It's just I'm not a Pageant Mother. I'm just not into paying big money for a few turns. Just to tell me that my child is prettier than the other's. I'm not against it by no means. I'm just not into it. So we may or not enter another one, who knows. But right now I'm Not a Pageant Mother!!!

Not wanting to let go...

OK, for those that have told me that it's not that hard to let their children grow up, are very wrong. My little boy, is fixing to turn three, and I don't want him to turn another year older. It hadn't been that long ago that he was a little tiny baby boy. That I had waited very patiently for all my life. I know all mother's ask this question "Where did the time go". I honestly don't know where the time has went, because one min. he was a baby and now he his a toddler. I just wish I could freeze time and have a few more years of my little baby. My son and my husband are the loves of my life. I prayed to God for both of them. God has made me learn about patience. I wanted to have a boyfriend in school, but all the guys wanted to just be friends. So when I got out of high school I meet my husband in collage. Two years later we where married. We wanted children, that was a big reason why we married. We loved children. He has several brothers and sisters. I just have one sister. But we knew we wanted to share our life with our children. So again when we wanted to have children, God wasn't ready for us to have any. So we patiently waited. It took me a solid year to get pregnant. I had a good pregnancy, I was healthy. Then I had him and he had several medical problems. So do you see why it's hard for me to not let go of my little tiny baby. Not wanting to let go is my fear right now, I will , It's just going to be very hard for me. Because I really don't know if there will be anymore children in our life, I just don't know what God has in store for my life. I just want to hang on to what we got right now. It just hurts!!!

Getting Older...

I know, I am behind in blogging. I just can't keep up with my blog. There just seems to be no end of my life slowing down. I just got back from another trip to Branson, I should prob. move up there. This makes my forth trip. And each time, I have seen something different. This time was the Christmas trip. It's only Nov. 5 and I'm ready to put my Christmas out. We got to see all kinds of lighting displays. So we can now count down day's till Christmas I think it's now 50 day's till Christmas. I'm sooooo not ready. The problem is Carson's birthday is the 23 of this month, then we turn around and Christmas is the 25. Not much of a brake. I was more into looking at how people decorated this year at branson. I have got so many ideas, I just wish it didn't go so fast, so we could enjoy Christmas like we used to. Getting older is sure though. We are so wrapped up in all that we do, we can't ever enjoy it. As soon as Christmas gets here, it will be all over. I just wish life would slow down, just a little.

Happy Birthday to Me....

Yeah, I'm 29, Yesterday was my birthday!!! It started off really good. Got a good morning kiss from my son, and husband. They both told me they Loved me, and that just made my morning. Well the day progressed. By noon, I was wanting to just go back to bed and get up again. Ever thing was screwed up at work. Just about every piece of paper we pick up there was something wrong with it. Plus, I miss birthday girl, crashed the system at work. I have no idea what happened, it just decided to crash on me. I got very emotional (crying). Because, I work for my Dad and Mom. My Dad is a very hard person to read. He wants the best for girls. I to be honest have not done my best. It is a very hard thing to explain but I have always tried to impress my Dad. I let him down all the time. I know I let him down because he never says anything to me. That's all I ever wanted was to be the light in my Dad's eye's. And I guess since I am still working for him that feeling of wanting to impress him still stands. I started working for day since I was 14 and I'm still here. I drop out of collage to get married, and I know that was disappointing. It's just that I'm secure here, I'm stuck in a shell, and I don't want to change. Or that's how I feel right now. Anyway I just don't wont him to be disappointed anymore in me than he already is. And here I crashed the system. So anyway, It was a emotional roller coaster yesterday. It got better my mom planed a supper at a Colton's. My Uncle and Aunt came in from Indiana. So they where there, also my sister came. And low and behold, my Dad walks in the door. What did I tell you my Dad is a very hard person to read. Anyway feelings so far of being 29. Happy, Upset, Glad, and Regret. Happy to be 29, Thanks you God for giving me one more year to be older. Upset that I screwed up the computer. Glad that my family took me out for supper last night, and they where all there. Regret that this all had to happen when I'm a year older. So all I've got left to say, Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

This is our Life...

OK, I know, it's been awhile since I have blog. But we have been very busy. Two weeks ago my husband and I, got to perform for our home church. Nothing big, we just put together some songs that we sing as solo's. We where very honored and touched by the invitation to come and share. We just felt the spirit of God move over us. We have never done this before, so it was a good practice night for us. It went fine, it's just we kept picking up a football game on our monitor. Not a good thing when it comes through while your singing. It turned out better than what we expected. We proved to ourselves that this is what God has blessed us to do. Sing, Praise and Worship God.
So that happened, next event in our lives was my Mom's 52 birthday. We celebrated her birthday by taking her shopping and eating at Olive Garden. While we went shopping, I got a little of a start on Carson's 3rd birthday coming up in a few months. His theme this year is trains. So we are doing Thomas the Train. I didn't realize that there was so much stuff that went along with Trains. Anyway, I just can't believe that he will be 3 in Nov. it's very exciting because he is getting so big and smart. But on the other hand, he's not my baby, he is my big boy now. But that's life, changing very fast.
We also got to go to Pumpkin Hollow this past weekend. Carson got to feed the goats, feed the chicken's and pet the rabbits. He got to ride horses, go on a Hayride. And ride a train, walk through corn mazes. And to top off the day Carson got to chase a Pig. He didn't know what to do and I felt sorry for him. But before we left, we got to pick out a pumpkin. Got our pictures made in the pumpkin patch. We just had a very fun filled day.
As the year end creeps upon us, there is still so much to see and do. We have another trip to Branson, Thanksgiving and Birthday within a few weeks. So we will face it head on and reflect on how we live day by day, because This is our Life....

Autumn Day's...

I love it! The time is here for Autumn again. I love the season, mainly because my birthday is in October. But I love the colors, the leaves, the pumpkins. I can't wait to take my son to pick out his pumpkin for the year. I myself have got a pumpkin every year from the first year that we got married. So when Carson was born, we made a tradition to get Carson a pumpkin. The first year we got a little one because he was just ten months old. Anyway, we go to a pumpkin farm called Pumpkin Hollow. We go and spend the day. He gets to ride pony's, feed the goats, chases pigs and they have Hayrides. We don't live on a farm so, it's all new for him. Anyway I just love this time of year. I put out fall things in my house last night. The oranges, yellow's, greens, and red's. They are all just beautiful. So I'm glad the Autumn Day's are here again. It's one of my favorite times of the year.

Forgiving and Forgetting...

OK, it's been a few weeks since I blogged. Since then, I've been really busy, getting together a ladies night at our church. We had it Friday night it was so worth getting it together. It was a very moving night, both spiritually and emotional. We only had about ten that showed up, but the ladies opened up and we had a very good discussion. The theme was Growing in God's Fragrance. We discussed about forgiving and forgetting those that have hurt your. And just being a rose that will stand above all others for Christ. Myself it is so hard to forgive someone, when they have hurt you very badly. I have gone threw it, both family and friends. Some have hurt me sometime or another. I really try not to dwell on it, because they really don't mean to. It's just the devil tries to tear each other apart. And God have me a sensitive heart. I've always been that way for some reason. I just want to be a pleasing person. But for some reason it always back fires at me. I try to forgive and forget how people talk to me or how they grip at me. But God doesn't erase the memory, so it's just that much harder to forget the people that have hurt you. But God forgives us daily for our mistakes, so we must try to forgive and forget the people that have hurt us. Let us be a shining light for him, become a beautiful rose that will rise up from the ground from a thorny bush. And become the most fragrant and beautiful red rose for Christ.

Finding each other...

Well we went back to Branson this past weekend. We had fun it was me and my husband. We stayed three nights and four day's. It was nice to get away, just with my husband. I think we have been together for so long we forgot, how to be husband and wife. We are going on nine years of marriage and we have kinda got off track. So that was the focus this weekend to find each other again. I found him, and I hope he found me. We talked about things and we both still agree on is what our marriage is all about. The love we have for each other and the love of God all connected. With out the love of God in a marriage, the love for each other will eventually die. I believe with all my heart, that is how me and my husband have made it for long. We have both been raised in a good Christian Homes. We have parents that love each other and love God. So It has been good that we have good influences in our lives. We have seen our parents go up and down in their relationships. But there main focus has been the Lord! I'm not perfect and neither is my husband. We know what the commitment was nine years ago, we both took our marriage very serious. We have had our share of trails and temptations. But we always come back and find each other. I believe I married my best friend, my partner, and my soul mate. May God continue to Bless us as a family and as a strong marriage. Amy Loves David......

Vacation Over

Well, the anticipation of Branson came to a close Sunday afternoon. We had a good time, we just tried to do to much in so little time. We are still recovering from it. Anyway reality sets back in. Back to work and the worries of life. But it was nice to just get away with my family. I guess the highlight of the trip was that my two year old got to ride a real train. Not a theme park train, a real train ride. We got on the train in Branson, it took us into Arkansas. It was only an hour, but it was so worth going.Carson got to wear the conductor hat, we took pictures of course. Carson loves trains he is into Thomas and Friends. We are very Thankful that we where able to go.
Now that Vacation is over, I'm trying to get together a Ladies Night at our Church. The theme is The Fragrances of God. It involves deocorating with roses. I have some ideas, just got to get it together and I'm running out of time. Just one of the many things I've going on right now in my life. Like I said Vacation is over back to reality.

Vacation Is Here

OK, it's finally here!!! Vacation at Branson!!! We waited the entire summer to go to Branson. And this week is it, we leave Wednesday!!! All of us are so ready to get away. We have work so hard to come to this point! Anyway I'm sure I will let everyone know, how it went. But as of right now, it is BRANSON OR BUST!! I will be thinking about all my friends and family while I'm gone!! So anyway everyone have a good week. Talk at you later!!!!

Vacation Count Down 2

Only 7 more day's left for Vacation!!!! I can't wait!! We are trying to figure out on what exactly we want to do in Branson. People tell me you can make about 4 trips to Branson, a year and still see something different every time! I'm just ready to get away from town for a few day's. Rest will not happen, because we have a two year old. I enjoy being with my family, and doing things with them. Carson is just about the age he can do more things with us. We are excited to plan on riding the train. My thing is eating a Olive Garden, I love eating the Italian food!!! My husband's thing is going to the Bass Pro Shop. So maybe we will have time to do all that we want. It doesn't matter as long as we are together, that's all that matter's.

Vacation Count Down

Well it's August!!!!! Yeah!!! Only 14 more day's left till we go on our Branson Mo. vacation!! We have been anxiously waiting to go to branson all year. It seems that branson is the place to go on vacation this year. There have been many families that we know of that have went to branson this year for vacation. So we as a family decided we will be going in a couple of weeks. There are so many things to have fun and do. We are ready to get wet at the Water Park, ride on rides a Silver Dollar City, plus do some shopping (Scrap booking). So here we go counting down the day's instead of months. It will be worth waiting for we always have a good time with each other. I just wish my dad would try to go. He hasn't went on a good vacation in about 3 yrs. He is a very busy man, works all the time. He owns his own company, so it is hard for him to get away. We understand, it is just something me and my sister has had to face growing up. He wanted to be there, but work would just stand in the way. So now that we are adults we go on our own. Plus bring my mom with us. So mark it down (Vacation Count Down).

Very Thankful

Well the surgery on my two year went fine. We check in at 6:30am and he went back for surgery at 7:50am. He was very goofy, they had given him some twilight medicine. He was reaching for things that weren't there. Trying to get off the hospital bed, and very floppy. But they took him back and said he was in good hands. He was back in surgery for about 30min. and then they called us and told us there are some precautions that we have to deal with but everything work out OK. We are so Thankful. Also my husband worked on my car this week and fixed the fuel pump, and it actually runs now. We are just glad that God has helped us go through this valley of trials. My spirits are lifted and blessed now. Unlike it was earlier this week. I believe with all my heart that God puts these kind of test in our lives to test our faith. Our faith my be strong in our eyes, but God knows us different. Just like the song "God will make this trail a blessing" though it sends me to my knees. God will be with us, he is always there. We may leave him or blame him for these trails. But he will be right there all the time. I am Very Thankful and Blessed to have God in my life.

No Luck

If there was no luck in the world there wouldn't be any luck for me and my husband. I went to a Jewelry Show last night and they asked us to name one good thing that has happened to you this week. I couldn't think of a single thing. The only thing that we have had this week so fair is bad luck. It all started Friday night, we decided to go out just me and my husband. We went out to eat at Outback Steakhouse than decided to play putt putt. Let me just say that was the fastest game of putt putt I ever played. The mosquitoes where very very bad. You couldn't do anything, just standing they would bit you. Than we woke up Saturday Morning. I overslept. We had a Yard Sale people where coming before we got everything uncovered. Than we went out to eat and my car broke down. Fuel Pump went out. We had to leave the car at the Restaurant and have my mom pick us up. The cost for the Fuel Pump was 240...Great Right...than we get a phone call from Carson Surgery Clinic we have to have at least 300...for the surgery. And you ask me what was the good thing that happen to us this week. I'm just laughing inside. No Luck. I pray very hard that the string of bad luck will end sooooooon. Especially tomorrow when he has his surgery. Wish us all luck.

When it Rains it Pours

Well it never fails, when it rains it pours. We went to the Ear Dr. for my son yesterday. He has to have surgery next week. He got tubes in his ears last year in March. The Dr. said the tubes would fall out in about six to nine months. Well we went back in March of this year, and the tubes are still in his ears. So the Dr. said he wanted to wait for couple more months and see if they are still in. We went yesterday those tubes are still in my little boy's ears. So we are now facing surgery to remove the tubes. Let me give you a rough update about my little boy. We got pregnant with him in March of 04. Excited because we had been trying to get pregnant for about a year. I was very depressed and down. I prayed to god and came to peace with it. That it was his will whether or not I was to have a child. Anyway I got pregnant, very excited in fact words could not describe the feeling me and my husband felt. It was a very smooth pregnancy, just a couple of minor heath problems. Then it happened. I was 8 months pregnant, when I went in for a normal ultrasound to see how big the baby was. The Dr. didn't like what he was seeing on the screen. The baby had fluid surround the bowels, and the kidney's where full of fluid. He said this was not good. But the heart and everything else was fine. He wanted me off my feet and very little movement. I was so very scared. But he wanted us to come back the next morning and take another look. So that's what we did. He didn't like the view again. So we all decided to have a C-Secion the next day. So November 23, 2004 at 7:30pm out came Carson Allen Roush. During this time I had family praying in Ar, Mo, In, Ms. I felt the prayers!! I really did. The prayers worked, we had things set up for if he needed to go to the children's hospital it was available. He was bad but not bad enough to send him away. I knew that he was going to be fine. So my son came out, everything on the outside was perfect. But on the inside. He has was is know as Hydronephrosi. It is dealing with the bladder and the kidney. The tube from the right kidney was not completely inserted in the bladder. So we had to take him to Labourers in Memphis. We went to a Dr that specialized in urology. My son was a month old when we had to place him on a board tied down from head to toe. So that he could have some test done. I knew this was to happen because we needed to know what was to happen. He told us we needed to surgery insert the tube. The Dr. wanted us to hold off until he got a little bigger to have the surgery. That sounded good right. The clause was he had to take a antibiotics and a steroid everyday for the first 10 months of his life. So we decided to have the operation on September 15, 2005. And the surgery took almost four hours. But the prayers keep coming, and again I felt peace. Since than
he has surgery to remove stints, surgery to put tubes in his ear, delt with Asama and allergies breathing treatments. And now he has to have an operation to remove the tubes. He is so worth it. Since we have had him, me and my husband have been truly blessed. We wish he didn't have to go through what he has been, but we are glad god chose us to be with this little bright boy.

My Husband

I have been married for eight years. And I have watch my husband grow into a wonderful person. I felt very sorry for him when we first got together, because he really didn't have a childhood. He was made to work at a very early age, and that was all he really new going up. He was not allowed to play sports or get involved with alot of actives in school. He went to school then came home and started working on a farm. His first real job was at 15yrs old. His parents where older and not able to work very much. So in order to get things that he would need in school or clothes, he was forced to work. He was working there when we got married at the age of 23. With him able to work, he was able to take out a loan to buy a house trailer for us to live in. Four years later he is now working for my dad (another story) and we have bought us a house. And where able to have a beautiful baby boy. With all the hours he puts in at working he doesn't get home very early. But for the last couple of weeks, he has made an appoint to come home early. Just last night he help me with some house hold chores and took care of our two year old. He has some good points and bad points. I really do get upset for the hours he puts in. But he provides us with everything we need. I sometimes wish he would be home to be with us all the time. Working is all he as ever known. I am truly blessed to have him as my husband. No matter what he does or who he is inside. I know he loves his family and would do anything for anyone at any time. That's just who my husband is. He is my best friend and my love for him runs very deep. He gives me whatever I need in life. Thank You God for sending him to me.

Laughing and Crying

It's been a few weeks now, since I have blog. Since then I have went to the lake with my family. It was such a crazy week. We laugh and cried. We laugh and caught up with each other's lives. We cried knowing that there was some very important people that couldn't be with us at the lake. My Grandfather who was the one who started the tradition of going to the lake. Was not able to be with us this year. We missed him so. There where moments where it was back to the old way's of camp at the lake. Old way's roughing it in tents and camper's. Other times it was our way of camping. In a cabin (our generation of camping). It was very weired, we are adults now. Making decisions on what to do and where to go. It was just a strange feeling. I was waiting on someone getting on to me for not doing something. We where not being told what to do, like it was when we where little kids. It was so worth going up to the lake. I got to catch up on what my family are doing with their lives. It was said when we all had to say goodbye. We all said we will try to get together for Christmas, but we know it's getting harder to do that with our own family's to take care of. I am very thankful that we where allowed a couple of day's to make some more memories for our family. Laughing or Crying we are still a Christian based family. That enjoy being together.

Lake Fun...

Well it's been crazy, we are trying to get things together for the lake. My entire Gregory side of the family are going to the lake. Crazy, we haven't done this in 10yrs. This will be a story to write about. The last time we where together was right after my grandmother died in 1997. She died in April, then we went to the lake in August. We haven't done this with everyone until now. My grandmother and grandpa always took us the lake every summer. I am the oldest of 8 girl cousins, and this was our vacation. Go to the lake. I was only 6 month's old when I went to the lake the first time. Mom said that I cried and cried. She told me that she was about to get in the car and go back home. But my grandpa grab me and took me walking around camp until I feel asleep on his shoulder. There are so many memories stored up at the lake. We didn't have a place we choose to camp by tent or camper. It was all fun and exciting. We didn't know what would happen at the lake or who we would run into. Being girls we would walk around the camp for hours at a time. Just talking about guys or just catching up. We all live in different states so it's hard to stay in contact with each other. Anyway my grandmother was the greatest at wanting us all to have fun. That was her goal. To let her family have fun at the lake. She bought anything and everything. Boats, skies, tubes, campers, tents, food, and we had plenty of it. It didn't matter the cost or when we new we all would come to the lake. I went every year until 97. Then we didn't go very much. We are now 28-18 yrs old. Alot has changed some of us are married and have kids of our own. We don't have grandma or grandpa to be the center of everything. It's all on our own, and there is a void there that all of feel. 10yrs later we compare how it was all those years that we had fun at the lake. There hasn't been a time this weekend or this weekend that grandma and grandpa's memories are not reflected on. We will try to make this week the most fun we can. We just miss what we used to do with grandpa and grandma. So I want to say Thank You God for giving us grandparents that gave us a wonderful time in our lives at the lake. We miss them very much. And we know they are in your hands.

ON STRIKE...

Just a observation, when you live with 3 guy's your house never stays clean. I live with my husband, son, and a cousin. My son is only 2 so I don't blame him for anything. He doesn't understand, yet to pick up toys after he plays with him. I'm working on it. But my husband and his cousin could careless if the house was clean or not. I am so tired of picking up after them. I AM NOT THERE MOTHER. If i was they would be severely punished. It's both of them. I've about had my can full. If they would attempt to help clean the house, I wouldn't be on strike. This will not last because I hate living in dirt and grim!!! I am giving a week to see if they will help or not. I don't see it happen, but I'm going to try.

Friends...

I hope and pray that I have been a good friend to everyone. I try to make time to listen to life problems, life events, and life stories. I offer advice and sometimes they take it other's don't. That's fine, I just want to be there for them. But what do you do when your friends, are not there for you. Sometimes when you need them most they just don't want to be there for you. And it hurts, it's painful. I choose to go inside my closed off shell. There I find a friend that will never hurt me or never ignore me. IT'S GOD!! I have been going to him alot here lately. I have some problems that I'm having to deal with on my own. But with his help I don't feel alone. I know I'm not the only one, that feels this way. But sometimes it feels like I'm alone. I will be there for my friends because that's the kind of person I want to be. But I know I will always have a best friend around no matter what.

Put a smile on my face!!

Hey, this is my first ever blog. I had a friend that told me I should get started. Anyway you may see things that are wrong like spelling or punctuation. I was not very good at that in school. So anyway there are some things going on in my life that I'm having to deal with. Like most people there is family problems, friend problems and now I have church problems. I've got so many questions and not very many answers. I just don't know which way to turn. I want to turn away and hide. I just don't want to deal with any of it. So anyway that is what I will be blogging about. My missed up life. I'm a person who wants to please EVERYONE!!! I feel like it's my responsibility that everyone is in a good mood. When deep down inside I'm hurt and scared. Put a smile on my face has always been my motto. So what's the matter with me?